Death is inevitable. This particular assignment was very difficult for me to imagine. I would never want to picture myself leaving this world behind. My family is my life. Recently, I had the unfortunate experience of losing one of my closest family members, my grandfather J. Jesus Macías Nuñez. Death never became more real to me. It was then how I realized there is absolutely no escape to it. I’m not scared to die, but I do wish to leave behind something for my close family and friends to cherish. Like I said, I don’t fear death, but I do wish it came with a warning sign and time for me to make my last arrangements here on earth. Death is too real to me and I did not want to put myself in a situation of actually have to picture myself departing.
For this particular assignment, I could not bring myself to actually do a landscape with a corpse, rather I took photos of what I would want people to do after my passing. My grandfather’s funeral made me realize what a great life he lived. Over 600 cars (literally) arrived to the cemetery to keep my family and I company during one of the most difficult time of our lives. Below my cousin and I are shown sitting next to our grandpa, and you can see not even half of the people that showed up to his burial.
When I pass, I want just as many to show up to my funeral. Yet I know for that to happen, I need to be just as great as he was. He was a great man with a huge heart. He always feared death, but it hit him blindly and did not experience any pain. He is missed dearly.
Some people will cry, be in shock, or maybe even smile that I am gone. I wanted family and those who I loved dearly to come visit me, talk to me, and remember me. Yes, it is selfish, but I just want them to remember I will always be with them. Just like my grandpa is always with me.
For my assignment this week, I decided to photograph the way I would want people to gather in my memory. I want everyone to hold each other closely and I remember I’m not going anywhere. I am just on the other side waiting for them, but watching them every step of their way. If there is a party that they were suppose to host, go on! Don’t cancel the party, they shouldn’t put their lives on pause, because for sure the rest of the world will continue on. They shouldn’t fall behind because of me, I want them to push harder and move forward faster than ever. I want my family to grow even tighter and grow bonds that can not be broken. I don’t want people to look at the sky and say she’s up there watching me. I want people to look next to them and around them because I promised I won’t be far. I want people to continue on in their everyday lives, not because they have moved on and forgotten, but because they have adjusted to the situation. I want everyone to pray for each other and anyone I left behind. Hopefully I’m not being too selfish if I asked them to celebrate my birthday each year, but hopefully they do! I want to talk to them in their dreams if they have in questions for me, just like my grandpa talks to us in ours. For the billions of people that will never meet me, I am just another fallen person without significance to them, and that’s okay. For my family and friends that care, their world may fall apart for a little. I want them to cry all they need to, but not forever, that would break my heart if they couldn’t go on. The last thing I would want to tell everyone is I love them and I’m only a dream away.